|
I think the stories that leave us with questions are better than the stories that answer them all for us. I appreciate the small hints of larger stories left to your reader in small gems like the silver chain and the hole in the shirt that give your character more depth than just a name. However, I think the character has far more potential than just his death at the end. The best stories come from change, and from development that the reader can see. The story here provides us with a character that doesn't change, he doesn't come to a realization that he wants to die, we find that this has been his intention all along. If he must die, the story would become much more powerful if we were to come to the realization with him that he cannot be loved. I think your words are very pretty and your character significantly deep, I just wanted to share something with him rather than just watch him go through with a decision he made before the story even started.
Despite my criticisms I like it, I don't mean to offend, but I guess this is the kind of reply that I'm looking for when I post things here. Keep up the good work. And keep posting prose and short stories here. All this poetry is great, but I do love a good story.
|