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lurkette · 09-02-2003, 07:22 AM

Ugh, man. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation.

I have to agree with Craven M about the relationship with Sugarbush. Past behavior predicts future behavior - what makes you think your feelings this time are any more permanent than they were the last (insert # here) times you got together and then broke up? And this time there's the whole baby thing to add spice to the already spicy mix. Gotta say, a rocky relationship is the last thing you need right now.

It sounds to me like what you need is to figure out what you want. You're 27, have spent the last 3 years in-and-out of a turbulent relationship, managed to father a child, and are still in school. It sounds like you need to do some serious soul-searching and have a calm and focused life for a little while. However, taking care of your kid comes first. Maybe that process will help you get a little bit of clarity for yourself.

Here's my $.02 worth:
It would be nice to support Tanya and your child, regardless of the status of your relationship with her. I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but I don't think your physical presence on a regular basis will matter (to the kid at least) for another couple of years. As long as she (Tanya) has enough on-site support from other sources so she doesn't get stressed out, financial support and the occasional visit as often as you can swing it should be enough until you finish school. I think it's crucial that you finish school - either in CO or SD - so you can provide for yourself and your kid for the rest of your life. It would be nice if Tanya also had that option, so whatever you can do to make that a possibility would be manly.

09-02-2003, 07:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	Ugh, man. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. I have to agree with Craven M about the relationship with Sugarbush. Past behavior predicts future behavior - what makes you think your feelings this time are any more permanent than they were the last (insert # here) times you got together and then broke up? And this time there's the whole baby thing to add spice to the already spicy mix. Gotta say, a rocky relationship is the last thing you need right now. It sounds to me like what you need is to figure out what you want. You're 27, have spent the last 3 years in-and-out of a turbulent relationship, managed to father a child, and are still in school. It sounds like you need to do some serious soul-searching and have a calm and focused life for a little while. However, taking care of your kid comes first. Maybe that process will help you get a little bit of clarity for yourself. Here's my $.02 worth: It would be nice to support Tanya and your child, regardless of the status of your relationship with her. I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but I don't think your physical presence on a regular basis will matter (to the kid at least) for another couple of years. As long as she (Tanya) has enough on-site support from other sources so she doesn't get stressed out, financial support and the occasional visit as often as you can swing it should be enough until you finish school. I think it's crucial that you finish school - either in CO or SD - so you can provide for yourself and your kid for the rest of your life. It would be nice if Tanya also had that option, so whatever you can do to make that a possibility would be manly. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France