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wry1 · 09-01-2003, 10:52 PM

Okay, I can't take it any more!!!!

Tset, you've been behaving like you're not even 21 yet, instead of someone who's most of the way to his 10-year high school reunion. While I'll admit that you've shown quite a willingness to learn since the beginning of this thread, I have to say that you're making yet another bone-headed play if you wait the month that you've "both" agreed to. The problem is this: while you're lamenting the fact that she's gone, she's slowly chewing over what you said to her to cause this little rift. Yes, she's feeling the loss, but she's also feeling hurt, angry, betrayed and abandoned as well.....and those are going to overshadow the loss.

If you do nothing else from the advice that's been given to you so far, do this: START DATING HER ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!! It comes down to rebuilding the bond you two had (which took a serious hit during that ill-fated conversation), and you can't do it with silence. If you just sit on your ass feeling sorry for yourself, it won't happen - ever. This is one of those situations where you need to act and you need to act now.

Call her. Apologize for not being able to go through with the 1-month exile but explain that after having your head slapped thoroughly by your "friends" you realized that it was a combination of cold-feet and youth which led you to this situation and that you not only recognize but also understand the special relationship you have with this woman. Tell her that you know things cannot go back to being the way they were instantly, and that you'd welcome the opportunity (if she can find it in her heart to give it to you) to just go out with her for a nice evening, so that the two of you can try to mend this situation together a little at a time.

This will show her that you understand the nature of the situation, that you also realize that it will take work to resolve it, and finally: that you are willing to do whatever it takes (no matter how painful the process) to restore her trust and confidence in you and in your relationship together.

I won't lie to you: it may be too late. But if you don't try - and try NOW - then you'll lose her for certain.

Do not delay. Act now! And please, keep us informed.

All my best to the two of you.

09-01-2003, 10:52 PM	#36 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	Okay, I can't take it any more!!!! Tset, you've been behaving like you're not even 21 yet, instead of someone who's most of the way to his 10-year high school reunion. While I'll admit that you've shown quite a willingness to learn since the beginning of this thread, I have to say that you're making yet another bone-headed play if you wait the month that you've "both" agreed to. The problem is this: while you're lamenting the fact that she's gone, she's slowly chewing over what you said to her to cause this little rift. Yes, she's feeling the loss, but she's also feeling hurt, angry, betrayed and abandoned as well.....and those are going to overshadow the loss. If you do nothing else from the advice that's been given to you so far, do this: START DATING HER ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!! It comes down to rebuilding the bond you two had (which took a serious hit during that ill-fated conversation), and you can't do it with silence. If you just sit on your ass feeling sorry for yourself, it won't happen - ever. This is one of those situations where you need to act and you need to act now. Call her. Apologize for not being able to go through with the 1-month exile but explain that after having your head slapped thoroughly by your "friends" you realized that it was a combination of cold-feet and youth which led you to this situation and that you not only recognize but also understand the special relationship you have with this woman. Tell her that you know things cannot go back to being the way they were instantly, and that you'd welcome the opportunity (if she can find it in her heart to give it to you) to just go out with her for a nice evening, so that the two of you can try to mend this situation together a little at a time. This will show her that you understand the nature of the situation, that you also realize that it will take work to resolve it, and finally: that you are willing to do whatever it takes (no matter how painful the process) to restore her trust and confidence in you and in your relationship together. I won't lie to you: it may be too late. But if you don't try - and try NOW - then you'll lose her for certain. Do not delay. Act now! And please, keep us informed. All my best to the two of you.