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wry1, I overstated it a bit. What I mean by "not being able to go back" is that I'm heavily addicted to nicotene (I smoke 2-5 packs per day) and am probably an alcoholic (I drink at least one 750mL bottle of liquer per day, and alcoholism runs in my genes). I also get far too little sleep (being an insomniac). These things are mostly all that I do (except writing), and are what really make up my lifestyle. To start doing the whole "sports" thing again, I'd have to change everything about my life. I'm not prepared to do that.
Anyways, what I was saying about being happy when I'm miserable and visa versa, it's not so much being "miserable" as when I SHOULD be miserable. Doing things that SHOULD make me miserable makes me kinda' happy, and doing things that I should be happy with make me miserable. It's the whole find line between pain and pleasure, I guess, except applied to emotions.
Happiness isn't the point of life. Satisfaction is. Satisfaction is ultimately better than happiness, although I guess you could argue that it's the same thing to a large degree. I'm satisfied with my lot in life, so to speak, so why do I need to be happy as well? Naw... I'm not that greedy. :P
And yes, it's also exceedingly comfortable.
Also, I hate therapists. Ever have. (Honestly, they sorta' scare me.)
This girl... I don't know whether or not she makes me happy or not. She does when I'm with her, but hey. It might just be because we're totally relaxed and just have fun. Problem being... I'm the only one she feels comfortable with, but I'm a comfortably extroverted little bastard, so I could make myself act "freely" around anyone. And I do.
BubblegumT, thanks for that. I think I like your advice the best, so far. :P
P.S., to wry1: Yes. I am under 21.
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