Mantus

My first contribution, I hope it hasn’t been posted.

One day God decides that heaven was getting a bit too crowded. So he tells St. Peter that starting tomorrow he should only let people in who had a very remarkable and worthy death..

Comes the next day and three souls show up at the golden gates.

As the three men approached St. Peter told them that only those who had the most remarkable and worthy death could enter. He asked the first man how he died, and the man replied,

"Imagine this – I left work early so I could surprise my wife with a birthday gift. But when I snuck into our apartment I found a man’s and her clothes scattered all over. I suspected my wife was having an affair behind my back so I stormed into the bedroom to find my wife naked on the bed. I looked all around the house to find the guy. I was about to give up when I saw ten fingers hanging onto the edge of our balcony. In a rage I pounded them until he finally let go. He fell ten stories down but landed in some bushes and God must have loved him because he lived. This got me really pissed off so I threw the refrigerator, of all thing, out the window to finish him off. After all the excitement I fell dead of a heart attack"

Then Peter asked the second man how he died. He replied,

"Imagine this -- I'm doing my daily exercises on my 11th story balcony when I slipped and fell over the edge. Yet with some great luck I managed to catch the edge of the balcony below mine. Then to my horror some psycho comes out starts cursing at me and pounds my hands. I fell and landed in some bushes. God must have loved me because I lived. But then that same asshole threw, of all thing, his refrigerator out the window and it crushed me."

"That, too, is horrible," said Peter. Then he asked the third man the same question.

His reply was, "OK, imagine this, I'm naked in a refrigerator..."