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Mossberg Persuader 12 gauge pump, 6-shot, 18.5" barrel, pistol grip.
Of course, I'd just have to hide until the target got within 20 feet!
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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