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Old 08-26-2003, 05:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
Rodney
Observant Ruminant
 
Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town
Re: Digesting compliments

Quote:
Originally posted by Halx

When someone compliments another person's looks, it's a no-brainer. A simple thank you will do. However, I get this one a lot, "You have the best job ever." What am I supposed to do with this information? "Thank you," doesn't really fit as a response. "Your job is pretty cool too," would be a lie in most cases. What the hell? I mean, to me, my job is my job, but... ya know, maybe I've got it all wrong! I just have no clue what compliments are used for.
That sort of compliment is really about envy; probably friendly envy, like admiring someone else's new car. But you're right, they're not saying "You're a great human being." What they are saying is, "You're lucky." The answer is "I know," or maybe "Yeah, I lucked out," if you're feeling humble. You don't have to return the compliment, because it really isn't one.

Why do I give compliments? If I see somebody doing something good, and I want them to continue doing it in the future (why wouldn't I), I compliment them on it. A compliment is positive feedback; keep doing what you're doing. You're on the right track. Your hard work is paying off. Dude, that's really beautiful.

Honest feedback is always a good thing; if somebody's doing something that sucks, you'd better tell them. But if they're honestly trying to do well and they still suck, there's alway's need for a honest compliment to prepare the way for constructive criticism.

All that said, I don't always take compliments all that well. Sometimes brush them off, even though I really want them. Gotta work on that.
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