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Old 08-26-2003, 05:03 PM   #16 (permalink)
angela146
Loser
 
Location: Somewhere near Hubby
Quote:
Originally posted by Double D
So one must be married to do these things?
No, you can do most of them if you aren’t married… but this kind of stuff doesn’t happen *as much* in *most* non-married couples. It’s the commitment that builds trust that leads to a greater intimacy, allowing us to lower our guard and be our real selves, knowing that the other isn’t going to leave.

The question was, “why get married?” For me, this is the stuff that is the *reason* for doing it, not all the other stuff like having sex. Flipping it around, if you don’t find this list appealing, don’t get married, because this is the essence.

All of this, of course, is IMHO…

Gays, lesbians, polyamorus folks and other non-traditionalists get married all the time. It’s just that society doesn’t *recognize* their marriages. This is a defect in society, not the marriage.

Despite the whims of society, it is the couple (or group) that defines the marriage. Christians write their own vows. Jews have a Ketubah they agree to and sign. Those who aren't religious have the freedom to define marriage even more freely. Gays, lesbians and polyamorous folks have the most freedom to define marriage *because* society doesn't recognize it.

No, you don't need the official seal of societal approval on a marriage in order to do all of this stuff but... you do need the essential element of a marriage (long-term mutual commitment) to do most of them... You can pick up his socks if you aren't married... but if you know that you will be picking up his socks *for the rest of your life*, you are married, paper or not.

Last edited by angela146; 08-26-2003 at 05:07 PM..
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