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Okay, from what I've read in your entries, first you called her just a girl you had been chatting with online for a few years, but who had graduated from your high school when you two started chatting.
THEN you go on to say that no, that's not right; that she's in fact your counselor and that you've been going to her for a few years to get over the heartless bitch who ripped you to shreds previously.
So what I want to know is this: what's the real deal here?
If this is a college girl, then damn it....DATE THE GIRL AND GET IT OVER WITH!!! Old adage: It is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
If she's your therapist, then you need to stop seeing her and start working on your personal relationship with her - as opposed to your professional relationship.
As for your description of going to the zoo with her, that's either a mixed-up way of trying to describe your feelings or you've got a fantasy life that Walter Mitty would be envious of!
Sit up straight. Take several deep breaths. Make a choice about this girl and pursue it.
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