angela146

Hmmm....

Cheery has a good point... but... men are actually more powerful if they leave the size, physical strength and money off of the table. Men, your greatest strength is control of your own emotions.

I happen to be a woman who makes more money than my husband. He's a teacher, I'm a freelance consultant. Yeah, he's bigger and stronger but not by all that much. I could throw him off of me or knee him to the groin if I wanted to. Yes, I am well aware that most women do not have this kind of financial and physical power.

However, that power doesn't give me control of him. My husband still has more sexual power over me than I do over him. Why? Because of his *emotional* strength. It is a rare treat for me to be able to "get one over" on him. He normally decides when and what is going to happen. I usually have that power *only* when he gives it to me.

Most men don't know how much power they have over women when they *control* their *own* desires. If a man can say "no" to a woman, and stick to it, he have women lining up at his door.

Our society allows women to say "no" to men. However, nothing short of physical force (which is damn difficult) gives us the ability to have sex with *a particular guy* unless he says "yes". If you can develop a sense of disdain and a good poker face, you'll have the upper hand.

Men, you have the absolute right to tease a woman with something *sexual* and then withhold it. *I* will not fault you as long as you only use sexual power in the sexual arena.

In particular, don't withhold your love, affection, money, protection or anything other than sex. For one thing, it won't work as well. For another thing, you'll be an asshole.

A soft kiss, a gentle caress a whispered expression of passion, any of that, if followed by emotional reserve will put you in the driver's seat. If you create a hunger in her, she will be yours. Her only choice is to take what you are willing to give her or go elsewhere.

Trust me on this, it's devistating for a woman to strip for her lover and have him say, "Not now... I'm really not in the mood." or "Wait until halftime."

Work on your emotional strength and control of yourself. Once you have this, and can say "no" to your woman, do it. You may be surprized how difficult it is for her to go elsewhere. An emotionally strong man is a major turn on.

Use your power sparingly. Get what you want and give her what she wants. Keep it in the sexual arena. You are not allowed to use sex to make her do the dishes or quit her job (unless you talk about that kind of thing and she OKs it). You *are* allowed to use your sexual power to make her beg for sex.

Jbrooks544 is clearly a man who has his own emotions in check. Now, if I were his girlfriend, I would want him to toy with me rather than telling me to hit the road. Laughing in my face, especially if it were sincere laughter, would be a crushing blow. Instead of that, a mild chuckle followed by him making a demand of me (i.e. turning the tables) *that* would be quite effective.

The thing is, unlike Jbrooks, I *like* it when this is part of the relationship... as long as it's playful and as long as my needs get met.

Don't get me wrong. My husband doesn't have me under his thumb. His sexual power is just a *little* stronger than mine. I actually do win the game sometimes without him letting me win. If I didn't, I wouldn't be his equal and it wouldn't work.

Cheerios' example of rationing kisses is a good one. I bet her knees get weak when he does it. If my husband did that to me (come to think of it, he does it all the time) anyway, *when* he does it to me, I ask him what he wants and give it to him. Once he gets his, I usually get mine. That keeps me happy.

In other words, learn how to maniuplate your woman *sexually*, not physically, not by undermining her confidence, not by using money or physical power. Make her *want* to get on her knees and service you.

By the way, the fact that I make more money than he does makes things a lot easier for us. It gives me an ego trump card and lets him be stronger. He doesn't have "all the power" and doesn't have to worry that he's taking advantage of me. He knows that I could leave him if I really wanted to and it helps us both remember that all the power games are just play.

Occasionally, just for fun, I'll put him on his back and tell him that if he doesn't give it to me, I'll cut off his allowance. It's a thrill for both of us.