Homer : Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
or
Homer : Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
or
Homer : I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!
or
Bart : There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson
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