Thanks, Jadzia, for saying what needed to be said in firm enough terms to be effective without crossing the line into being harsh.
I think what I'm asking is for you and the others here on TFP to help me get past the anger, frustration and other emotional stuff so that I can make some kind of rational decision.
So, please take me with a grain of salt on this issue. Most of all,
if I sound like I'm angry at you or anyone else, please filter that out as you read this post. I'm really not. I just can't talk (or write) about this without getting angry and needing to blow off steam every other paragraph.
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There is nothing sexual about the exam. Exam procedures vary from doctor to doctor as well. If you were uncomfortable with your doctor, you should have found another one.
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I've tried. (Perhaps I haven't tried hard enough but I have tried). I've been to five different doctors for pelvic exams (one before going to college, two at college, two since).
When I was in school, I couldn't get a doctor to talk to me seriously about much of anything, especially about this.
I tried talking to my most recent MD about how I felt. Having been out of school for a while, I felt like I wasn't a kid anymore and finally had a right to my own opinion. Even then, I could not get her to take me seriously. I couldn't get her off of "why are you concerned about this" and onto "why is this even necessary in the first place". It's as if they're not to be questioned; their judgement is absolute. Us ordinary women aren't owed an explanation of what's happening and why.
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I had gone for four years without going for my annual visit, and I got angry with myself for doing so. After hearing about friends of mine who were found to have breast cancer, uterine cancer, and ovarian cancer, I vowed to never miss another year again.
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I guess I would feel better about it if it weren't for the fact that most breast cancers and especially most ovarian cancers aren't caught by physical exams, they're caught by mamograms and/or women finding lumps in their own breasts, or in the case of ovarian cancer, they just don't get caught all that often.
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It's your body, do what you want.
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I guess that's part of the problem. When I'm in a doctor's office, it doesn't feel like it's my body.
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But from my understanding, neither you nor your husband would be able to diagnose a cancerous cyst on your cervix.
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OK, that remark I made about my husband doing the exam was not intended to be serious (I hope I didn't sound like I was being serious at that point). I was blowing off steam and trying to express the feeling of frustration.
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And these cysts can happen without being sexually active.
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Is this true? If I could get a straight answer from a physician about whether HPV can be transmitted non-sexually (i.e. is it similar to a yeast infection) it might go a long way toward my feeling like there's a real purpose.
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You asked if you were being unreasonable. My answer is, "Yes, you are."
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I'm perfectly willing to admit that I'm being irrational. Having said that, I wish I could get a doctor to *be rational* instead of dogmatic and patronizing.
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Take the time to find a physician who you are comfortable with, one whom you can talk with about your concerns, fears, what makes you uncomfortable. There are good doctors out there. [/B]
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How do I find one? How do I find a doctor that will treat me like a thinking intelligent person rather than a lab specimen?
Thanks for listening and putting up with my temper tantrum.
