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DD, you've obviously been thinking about this, and I for one am totally behind your decisions - both the choice to allow him to return until his court date (it shows that while he is not entitled to the same priviliges as the rest of the family, he's still PART OF the family) as well as your and your husband's resolve regarding the whole "what next" question.
Just a quick thought, though: If he is given probation, and if he is not in a position where he can reliably provide a fixed address for the court, then it might be in his best interest to work with the court and have him assigned to a halfway house or some sort of court-sanctioned housing. I'm not too familiar with the conditions that the State of Illinois uses when determining eligibility for probation, but I'm pretty certain that there must be some sort of method in place for the probationer to maintain contact with the court during that period.
I'll keep my eyes open, as I'm still pulling for you guys....
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