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All I will say is this:
If it weren't for the annual pelvic exam, the cervical cyst that my doctor found could have become cancerous if left untreated. No, cervical cancer does NOT run in my family. No, I have never had any STD's or VD's or HIV etc... You may feel violated, you may feel that it's not necessary. But I assure you that there are hundreds of thousands of women who feel otherwise.
There is nothing sexual about the exam. Exam procedures vary from doctor to doctor as well. If you were uncomfortable with your doctor, you should have found another one. I had gone for four years without going for my annual visit, and I got angry with myself for doing so. After hearing about friends of mine who were found to have breast cancer, uterine cancer, and ovarian cancer, I vowed to never miss another year again.
It's your body, do what you want. But from my understanding, neither you nor your husband would be able to diagnose a cancerous cyst on your cervix. And these cysts can happen without being sexually active.
You asked if you were being unreasonable. My answer is, "Yes, you are." Take the time to find a physician who you are comfortable with, one whom you can talk with about your concerns, fears, what makes you uncomfortable. There are good doctors out there.
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