One thing that struck me with your first post (I've read through them all) was that you were searching for justification to kick your son out. I'm glad that you decided to do so because as everyone else in here noted it was more or less the only option. The thing is, most people here seem to focus on what's best for him, but the guy is 20. He has to live his own life and you have to live your own life. I was just about to say that you're allowed to be selfish, but that's not even it as you most certainly don't sound selfish, but you have to be allowed to be yourself and it seems that your son have seriously invaded your life in a way he shouldn't.
The one thing that is important for you to say to yourself though is that you were 100% justified in doing what you did. Would it be easier for him to be at home and continue to "leech" on you? Most certainly. Would it be better for you? No. Despite all the stress you're going through now (and your bitter comments towards your husband earlier in the thread shows that it's a great deal) it's going to get better. Will it get better for your son? Hopefully, but even if he, god forbid, doesn't make it, you must never blame yourself. There's only so much a human can do and you have done more than most...
Good luck and a little kiss from me
