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I used to work at one (bartender), so I could tell you lots of stories - but they're not your typical "going to a strip club" stories, so I'll step back into the shadows and lurk awhile.
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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