I had absolutely no clue about dating. I would pick women based on looks or a generally slutty attitude. If a woman showed me even a little bit of attention, I would fall hard and fast (unless she was completely butt ugly). This had to do with self-esteem as much as anything. When I was finishing my first Master's degree about 14 years ago, I was in classes that had no women. I was stuck in a lab till all hours of the night and didn't have the energy to go to bars anymore since most of my good friends had graduated and moved away. I ended up using a dating service for a little while. I met one very nice girl (strict Southern Baptist) and another girl who wasn't as nice. I ended up with the not so nice girl who had bi-polar syndrome and was a different person every single time. We dated roughly 3 months till I finally said to hell with it. On a whim, I put an ad into the local singles newspaper. I got 2 responses from two friends who didn't know they had each responded to the same ad. One turned out to be the woman of my dreams (didn't figure this out till the second date). She is nice, attractive, and "gets" me. I don't think you could ask for anything more. She was the sterotypical nice girl who I wouldn't have given a look if I had met her out somewhere because she was so shy. Guys are just as guilty of this as girls. I think age and experience tend to take care of it.
One suggestion I can make is to meet women at non-standard places. Bars are the absolute worst unless you are just looking for a one-night stand, and you aren't likely to meet the perfectly nice girl who doesn't want to go to those places. College classes at the local community college and out shopping are a couple of great places to meet women.
|