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I have seen that at work as well. I work in a nursing home, and the effect only intensifies as a life lengthens and one nears death. There is a lot of room for variability of suffering in the equation. My observations are that two people in similar situations can experience them very differently and thus effectively maximize or reduce the amount of suffering they experience. Control attempts, especially in our health care system, often do little except cause problems for all involved. Asking for help without demanding a specific outcome works best for people. In short, open minds suffer less. This goes for aides and nurses as well as residents. I can't tell you how many great workers I have seen burn out trying to force our limited system into their ideals of what good care is. Sadly we often have to accept that the most we can do is still less than we think it "should" be. But we can't just cave in to the situation either..I believe the "middle path", striking a balance, is the best we can do. The ego hates that, but ego is overrated anyway!
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