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RoadRage · 08-18-2003, 05:29 AM

A Sooner fan was giving an Oklahoma State fan a lift to the OU-OSU Bedlam game in his pickup truck. The OSU grad, of course, preferred riding in the open bed in back. On one of those treacherous rural roads around Stillwater, the driver of the pickup truck had to swerve to avoid either a cow or an OSU cheerleader (they're hard to tell apart) and wound up driving off the road, down an embankment and into a river. The truck submerged completely, but the Sooner alumnus knew what to do; he rolled down the window, took a deep breath as the truck cab filled with water, then opened his door when the pressure was equalized and rose to the surface.

Sadly, the OSU graduate was unable to get the pickup's tailgate open, so he drowned.

**********

NEWSFLASH FROM CNN HEADLINE NEWS:
There was a tragic accident yesterday at the Student Union on the Oklahoma State University campus. The electricity went out and 50 students were trapped on the escalator for three hours.

**********

What did the Oklahoma State student say when he looked in a box of Cheerios?

Ooh! Donut seeds!

**********

An OU student and an OSU student have a head-on collision. Miraculously, neither is hurt. They climb out of their respective vehicles, survey the devastation of the BMW and the Ford Ranger (you can readily guess to whom each vehicle belongs) and trade information. Upon hearing the other driver is an OSU student, the Sooner says, "I believe this wreck is signifying that we need to put aside our differences and become friends. It could signal a renewed respect for each institution by countless future generations of students." The OSU Agro-American agrees, and the Sooner looks into his car. "Well, what do ya know! Here's a full bottle of Jack Daniel's that isn't broken at all. I think we should each drink to our newfound friendship. Let us be the first to celebrate the detente between our two glorious institutions of higher learning. In fact, I'll let you have the first drink."

The Agro-American is surprised, but quickly agrees and swallows several large gulps. He then offers the bottle to the Sooner, who says, "No thanks. I'll just wait for the cops to arrive."

**********

What is the only sign of intelligent life in Stillwater?

Norman: 85 miles.

**********

An Oklahoma State football player was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty coed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?" The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied. The OSU player took a big, deep breath and SHOUTED, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?!!!"

**********

It was the start of dove season along the Cimarron River. Two Oklahoma State football players were out hunting. They started walking up a small hill in their quest for recognition from National Outdoors magazine. The downhill hunter tripped on his untied shoelace and his shotgun went off. The bullet struck his hunting companion in the head and he fell to the ground. The shooter was beside himself but remembered that he had his cell phone with him and called 911.

Dispatcher: What is the problem?
Agro-American(sobbing uncontrollably) I ... I think I just killed my friend!
Dispatcher: Just stay calm and don't jump to any quick conclusions. First, you need to make sure that your friend really is dead.
Agro-American: OK. Wait a minute.

Shortly thereafter the dispatcher hears a gunshot over the phone and then hunter is back on the line.

Agro-American: OK, now what?

08-18-2003, 05:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
RoadRage Stay off the sidewalk! Location: Oklahoma City, OK	College Rivalries A Sooner fan was giving an Oklahoma State fan a lift to the OU-OSU Bedlam game in his pickup truck. The OSU grad, of course, preferred riding in the open bed in back. On one of those treacherous rural roads around Stillwater, the driver of the pickup truck had to swerve to avoid either a cow or an OSU cheerleader (they're hard to tell apart) and wound up driving off the road, down an embankment and into a river. The truck submerged completely, but the Sooner alumnus knew what to do; he rolled down the window, took a deep breath as the truck cab filled with water, then opened his door when the pressure was equalized and rose to the surface. Sadly, the OSU graduate was unable to get the pickup's tailgate open, so he drowned. ******** NEWSFLASH FROM CNN HEADLINE NEWS: There was a tragic accident yesterday at the Student Union on the Oklahoma State University campus. The electricity went out and 50 students were trapped on the escalator for three hours. ****** What did the Oklahoma State student say when he looked in a box of Cheerios? Ooh! Donut seeds! ****** An OU student and an OSU student have a head-on collision. Miraculously, neither is hurt. They climb out of their respective vehicles, survey the devastation of the BMW and the Ford Ranger (you can readily guess to whom each vehicle belongs) and trade information. Upon hearing the other driver is an OSU student, the Sooner says, "I believe this wreck is signifying that we need to put aside our differences and become friends. It could signal a renewed respect for each institution by countless future generations of students." The OSU Agro-American agrees, and the Sooner looks into his car. "Well, what do ya know! Here's a full bottle of Jack Daniel's that isn't broken at all. I think we should each drink to our newfound friendship. Let us be the first to celebrate the detente between our two glorious institutions of higher learning. In fact, I'll let you have the first drink." The Agro-American is surprised, but quickly agrees and swallows several large gulps. He then offers the bottle to the Sooner, who says, "No thanks. I'll just wait for the cops to arrive." ****** What is the only sign of intelligent life in Stillwater? Norman: 85 miles. ****** An Oklahoma State football player was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty coed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?" The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied. The OSU player took a big, deep breath and SHOUTED, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?!!!" ******** It was the start of dove season along the Cimarron River. Two Oklahoma State football players were out hunting. They started walking up a small hill in their quest for recognition from National Outdoors magazine. The downhill hunter tripped on his untied shoelace and his shotgun went off. The bullet struck his hunting companion in the head and he fell to the ground. The shooter was beside himself but remembered that he had his cell phone with him and called 911. Dispatcher: What is the problem? Agro-American(sobbing uncontrollably) I ... I think I just killed my friend! Dispatcher: Just stay calm and don't jump to any quick conclusions. First, you need to make sure that your friend really is dead. Agro-American: OK. Wait a minute. Shortly thereafter the dispatcher hears a gunshot over the phone and then hunter is back on the line. Agro-American: OK, now what? Last edited by RoadRage; 08-19-2003 at 11:11 AM..