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D, I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is for you. Just know that you are doing the right thing - explain it to him if it will make you feel better, that you are doing this because you love him and you want him to have his own, happy life and first he needs to learn to take care of himself. It may not sink in now, but just knowing that he knows you love him because you told him so might make you feel better.
I don't know what else to say. The situation sucks - he's really put you in a difficult position, having to choose between your instincts to help him and keep him safe, and your desire to make him into a self-sufficient, responsible person. I really do think you're doing him a favor, though, by showing him that his actions do have consequences. It might take some pretty scary stuff to get him to internalize that, and I wish you the strength to go through them with him.
*hugs*
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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