Homer : You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. [cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart : Dad, what's the point of this story?
Homer : I like stories.
Homer:That's it! Being abusive to your family is one thing, but I will not stand by and watch you feed a hungry dog! Go to your room.
Homer : Kids, Kids! I'm not gonna die! That only happens to bad people!
Bart : What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer : Err ... He sold poisoned milk to school children.
Marge : Homer!
Homer : Hey, I'm just trying to make it easier on them.
Marge : Have you noticed something about Bart?
Homer : New glasses?
Marge : No. It seems like something could be troubling him.
Homer : Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge : I want to get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer : Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge : That's not what I meant.
Homer : Admit it Marge, it was.
