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I think you know the answer to this problem; but it's a painful answer, and one you're hoping we can help you avoid.
The point is, you're not able to handle this relationship. You can't get close to this woman without wanting to get all-the-way close. Maybe other guys could, maybe not. But the point is, you can't.
You keep calling this friendship, but how many guy friends have you had that were ever this close? The point is, if you were both single you'd probably both be in the sack by now, or you would have at least made a move.
No easy way out of this one. Back off. If she asks why, tell her the truth: you can't handle it, and it's best for both of you. And if she says she has a total crush on you, too, which she's been hiding _run away._
Unless you want to betray your wife and trash your entire life.
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