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Homer:
-If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
-Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever ... thy will be done. (munch munch munch)
-Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
-Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.?
The kids can call you Hoju!
-Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
- Here's to alcohol : The cause of ... and answer to all of life's problems.
-I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, The Bus That couldn't Slow Down.
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