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I am the only person here who:
Has met an undercover CIA shadow operative.
Has swam in all 5 great lakes and NOT ended up with cancer.
Has gotten a ticket for speeding on a drive over to a booty call.
Has gotten in a fender bender on that same drive.
Has intentionally changed his major in order to get out of writing two essays for the application.
Has stolen more than 36 full size phone books from a single apartment complex....while drunk.
Has stolen several cans of Pam from a frat party.....while drunk.
__________________
the light that burns twice as bright
burns half as long
and you have burned so very, very brightly
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