|
Dearest (insert girlfriends name here),
As you know, I love you with all my heart. Seriously. That girl you caught gobbing my knob meant nothing to me. I'm not even sure of her name.
Having said all that, I need to tell you that a man has needs. Sweaty needs. Needs that can only be satisfied with lots of yelling, nudity and ass-spanking. Especially the ass-spanking part. That's very important.
I guess what I'm saying is, I want to lay you down in a bed of rose pedals and make sweet, sweet, Barry White love to you. I want to show you the depths of my love for you in a physical way, with the addition of ass-spanking.
I'll try not to fall asleep too soon afterwards, so we can engage in pillow talk. I know how you ladies like that.
Much love, with carnal thoughts and ass-spanking,
baaa
__________________
Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend.
Wind: [whistling] I hate you.
|