Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Should I Kick My 20-y.o. Son Out?

Double D · 08-12-2003, 02:33 PM

Ugh--well I'm afraid my strong will faltered last night.

It was a coolish day (like today, Chicago's had no summer weather, this summer ) and I left a window open. It's not ever been normal practice to lock the front windows, except at night, so I don't do it automatically.

Jim came in through the window while no one was here, and scrounged some food.
He was surprised however, by his stepfather's early return from work and fled, apparently out the back door, leaving a small bag of granola bars and juice boxes behind.

The first words out of my husband's mouth when I got home were, * I caught Jim in the house.* The contents of the bag of food were spread on the kitchen counter like trophies, and his tone was almost gleeful.

I didn't say anything, but as time passed and the almost-stolen food remained on the counter, I asked my spouse when he was going to remove it.
When he finally gathered the food up, my will gave out.

I told my husband that he seemed to be enjoying this, and asked him if he realized that it (the whole situation, not just this incident) was hurting me a lot?
He hadn't a clue. He never paid close enough attention to put together that perhaps I was just a bit sad/upset about this whole thing.

Words flew back & forth when I later found him sealing the windows closed permanently, as I'm not adult enough to keep them locked at all times.

I was angry that he didn't discuss this with me, he saw no point in that--apparently getting out, should there be a fire--or just getting some fresh air, were not high on his *important things* list.
So it went on.

I was really bummed out last night and wanted to take up some folks on their generous offer of a shoulder to lean on--but my IP provider went belly up from last night until this afternoon. Great timing!

My husband & I are still not seeing eye to eye. He has never loved my son, and he doesn't understand how I can still be bothered by all of this.
I try not to be-- but I have my weak moments. I don't want my son coming into the house to steal food, so I am sealing up things tight when going out, but this is very difficult all 'round.

08-12-2003, 02:33 PM	#67 (permalink)
Double D Junkie Location: Chicagoland	Ugh--well I'm afraid my strong will faltered last night. It was a coolish day (like today, Chicago's had no summer weather, this summer ) and I left a window open. It's not ever been normal practice to lock the front windows, except at night, so I don't do it automatically. Jim came in through the window while no one was here, and scrounged some food. He was surprised however, by his stepfather's early return from work and fled, apparently out the back door, leaving a small bag of granola bars and juice boxes behind. The first words out of my husband's mouth when I got home were, * I caught Jim in the house.* The contents of the bag of food were spread on the kitchen counter like trophies, and his tone was almost gleeful. I didn't say anything, but as time passed and the almost-stolen food remained on the counter, I asked my spouse when he was going to remove it. When he finally gathered the food up, my will gave out. I told my husband that he seemed to be enjoying this, and asked him if he realized that it (the whole situation, not just this incident) was hurting me a lot? He hadn't a clue. He never paid close enough attention to put together that perhaps I was just a bit sad/upset about this whole thing. Words flew back & forth when I later found him sealing the windows closed permanently, as I'm not adult enough to keep them locked at all times. I was angry that he didn't discuss this with me, he saw no point in that--apparently getting out, should there be a fire--or just getting some fresh air, were not high on his important things list. So it went on. I was really bummed out last night and wanted to take up some folks on their generous offer of a shoulder to lean on--but my IP provider went belly up from last night until this afternoon. Great timing! My husband & I are still not seeing eye to eye. He has never loved my son, and he doesn't understand how I can still be bothered by all of this. I try not to be-- but I have my weak moments. I don't want my son coming into the house to steal food, so I am sealing up things tight when going out, but this is very difficult all 'round. Last edited by Double D; 08-12-2003 at 02:36 PM..