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Man, I was always yelling at those stupid kids to get off my lawn back when I lived at my moms house. I'd have just cut it and these little fat bastards would run around tearing it up and jumping on our tree. I gotta say, landmines would take care of them.
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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
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