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Hail Cheesemoney, Fashion Dictator!
I am wearing spandex as I type this.
I believe you doth protest too loudly.
I have seen the way you gaze upon my form at the gym. It is not loathing but fascination for that which you can't understand. The peaks and valleys, the caves and crevasses, the pools and eddies of sweat that gather in my special places as I work out beneath your impenetrable gaze. You long to plumb the depths of my mysterious form. You are confused by your longings. Your appetites frighten you. When you are ready, you will know.
-GH
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