Thanks for all your thoughts guys (and gals), nice to know I'm not alone on this one.
I think I agree with
phoenix and the "good looking guys become arrogant, less attractive guys work at being nice" theory. Even though that condemns most of us to being ugly munters.
I also agree with the line "nice guys are too passive for their own good".
My own thinking when I see a nice girl usually goes along the lines of:
1. To get somewhere I'll need to make a move.
2. But it must get annoying to be hit on all the time.
3. All I am judging this girl on is her looks and a snippet of conversation, so wouldn't it be shallow of me to approach her on that basis?
4. I never like being shallow and I never like to put myself before others (and risking her feeling hit on would do just that).
5. Therefore, I shouldn't make a move.
Bad guys thinking seems to go something like this:
1. That's a nice piece of ass.
2. I think I'll f#ck it.
Or, a classic from a conversation I had yesterday with a male model:
1. I thought she was alright, but nothing special.
2. My mate Gaz went on about how fit she was.
3. So I thought I'd f#ck her.
[And he did]
You may be wondering how I managed to find a girl given the above. Well, I gues the same way that all "nice" guys do. I took all of the things that "nice guys" do to succeed (be nice, smart, thoughtful, interesting etc.) and just tried to do them as best I damn well could. It took me
two years to get the girl I wanted this way and believe me I had to show myself to be pretty damned nice/smart/witty to do it.
There must be an easier way than this and I think I know what it is, but I just wanted to hear everyones thoughts. Keep them coming.