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i was somewhat in this situation. i wasn't really 'the girlfriend'. because it was a more-than-friends relationship that was supposed to be non-commit. but.. hearing about the ex (their relationship was 3 years.. a total of 6 years knowing eachother) was very intimidating to me. to have someone, other than yourself, (who, as "the girlfriend", is supposed to be the guy's "one and only", most important thing in his life.. in an ideal situation anyway) be so important to your SO is -very- intimidating.
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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin
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