I think it's admirable that you're concerned about it, and that you're accepting your friend's point of view about your actions. Changing behavior, especially automatic behavior, takes work, though. If it's the case that you think "I could help so and so" but you choose not to, then it's just a matter of making different choices. But if it's the case that it doesn't even occur to you that so-and-so might want help, then you're going to have to start training yourself to notice and think of others if you want to become a less selfish person.
Incidentally, there's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, and a lot of people suffer under the delusion that you can't take care of yourself and take care of other people, which is just not true. To quote Mr. Mephisto, "what goes around, comes around" in good ways and in bad ways. Taking care of others can feed your soul, and it can make people more disposed to be there for you when you're the one in need.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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