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Old 08-08-2003, 01:23 AM   #1 (permalink)
-Ever-
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Location: San Francisco
Help me, I'm selfish

(Prepare for some of my rambling below...I'm not really sure where to start because this is a pretty akward thread for me to post, but I'll give it my best shot.....)

Well I've always known that I tend to watch out for myself in general. However sometimes I guess I do so when others could use my help more. Specifically speaking, one of my real close group of friends has slowly brought to my attention that they feel that I could be there for them more often, like when they are in the gutter and just really need someone to talk to. I personally feel like I'm there all the time, but if they are noticing differently, something's going wrong somewhere.
I love giving in general. I'm usually the first to give up my chair (as a metaphor...) and I like not only *making* other people happy, but actually seeing them happy. I cringe at the sight of a hurt, helpless animal, and will always just sleep it off if my girlfriend has pulled all the sheets off of me in the middle of the night. Small examples, yes, but important nevertheless. In the end, I think I'm just selfish on top and basically feel that I watch out for myself. One quote that really stood out in my mind went something like "Don't only do favors when you can aford to do them." I feel like this somewhat describes my bad side in that I do tend to do favors more when I can afford them, but I also do give when it is sacrificial too so I dunno.
Sorry about the mixed ideas, I just wanted to throw all this out. I didn't just want to say "I'm selfish, fix me!" because I feel that I can specify my case much more and maybe pinpoint a way to work with it. Any recomendations? Simple ideas or even recomended readings would be a good start.
Thx guys
-T
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Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding and valuing of life. A vision that inspires you to live and love on planet Earth. Like a priceless jewel buried in dark layers of soil and stone, Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home And experience of this place to visit and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself as a gamemaster...
--Acknowledge your weaknesses--
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