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My wife was the same way. Part of it was the way she was brought up (to feel guilty about it) but part was she just didn't feel like she was any good about it. We talked about it and talked about it. That really didn't do any good. What finally helped was really working on our intimate talks. Guys are really good at looking like they are listening to their women, but many times they really are only partially listening. When I gave her my complete attention for an hour after work, the intimacy got better, the sex got better, and finally we were able to talk about it completely. She is one of those women that just doesn't get off from penetration too much, and she would masturbate in our jacuzzi tub. I finally convinced her to show me how she did it and then I got her to show me how she did it with her hand. Once I convinced her to tell me what to do to get her off during sex, she started orgasming every single time. It varies from time to time, but she isn't afraid to tell me now. This is a direct result of taking the time to deeply establish our intimate time together. We used to have sex a couple of times a week with 3 to 4 days between and now it is more like 4 to 5 times a week after 12 years of marriage.
Also, anti-depressants can have a huge impact on libido.
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