|
These are just my opinions: Some of us let our emotions control our lives. Self pity (just one avenue for suicide) and emotional pain can be just as real as physical pain. My former mother in law tried repeatedly to kill herself. She finally did it. I have thought about it. I had a really good cure happened to me: My oldest brother got leukemia. We all test for stem cell transplant. My sister was the closest match. To make a long story short, he has the worst case of graph verses host disease the doctors at MSU have ever seen. Her cells are trying to kill his and take over his body. He shames me with his attitude on life. I have never heard him complain. For three years he has been in the most unbearable pain and agony. He always is polite and courteous.
I was blessed to have to bring him to the hospital for chemo and stay and care for him for a week. I was shamed. I was shamed watching the children in the cancer ward. I was shamed watching those innocent souls fight for their lives and still bless me with a smile. I believe the strongest force in living is self preservation.
I still think of my useless life and at times want to end it because living gets so hard. I am old enough and wise enough to swallow my pride and seek help. I do this every couple of years. If you ever really want to kill yourself, please just take an hour of your life and visit the children in a cancer center of any hospital. Those saints will shame you for your thoughts just by a healing glance. Thank you for listening.
|