daoist

i've got somewhat of a weird question.

let's say that a guy and girl have been dating a while, like 4-5 years. they break up. well, the guy finds someone new, and he's happy with the new girl.

But, he's still friends with his ex. Now, it's obvious that no matter what happens, the guy and his ex are going to be more-than-friends, or at the very least, not typical friends, right?

I think that it's perfectly normal to have special feelings for someone you used to date; after all unless the person has totally changed there's still something that attracts you to them. Of course, you don't want to date the person any more but there's still something mild there.

Well, dating someone for several years will have an affect on one's life. It's inevitable. Some times when the guy and the ex are talking, he'll say he loves her.

Now, please don't misunderstand: He's not in love with the ex. He doesn't want to date the ex. He doesn't want anything romantic with the ex any more. When he says "I love you" to the ex he means it like a sisterly type of love. Like the way you tell your mom you love her.

Well the guy's new girlfriend doesn't really understand this. She understands that feelings linger, and that it's possible to care deeply about someone like that, but objects to the guy telling his ex that he loves the ex. She thinks that saying "I love you" is something you only do to the person you romantically love. Of course, saying it to parents, etc. is different.

She also thinks the guy isn't helping the ex get over him either. If the guy and ex hang out often, even though nothing romantic happens, and he tells her he loves her, well the girlfriend thinks that sends the ex mixed signals. The guy's even spoken to the ex about it; and the ex knows that it's a sisterly kind of love, and not romantic.

So in this situation, what do you think? Should the guy cut it out? Is the new girlfriend pissed off about nothing? What if the roles were reversed?

Any thoughts welcome.

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