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If you go to sleep anxious about going to sleep, anticipating problems, it's only going to make the problem worse. Clear it with your wife that, whenever you feel you need it, you can sleep in another room without apologies or guilt or without trying to sleep in the joint bed first. If you can work out that kind of deal with her, then you'll know in advance every night that you can sleep how and where you need to sleep, with no apologies or tensioni. Anxiety will decrease, and I'll be sleep will come more easily.
Of course if your wife goes with this, she's a saint. Treat her thusly.
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