Here's where you screwed up: you were defensive when caught.
Maybe this is something you learn between years five and eight, but MAN, when I'm busted on someting, I <i>cop</i> to it. If you do that, the problem goes away. Otherwise it just looks like you've got something to hide, and then it's worse next time.
And your high-horse position about her looking in your email is just a smokescreen--your wife doesn't buy that and neither do we.
