View Single Post
Old 08-06-2003, 05:24 AM   #50 (permalink)
onetime2
Junkie
 
Location: NJ
It sounds as if you're moving in the right direction. You need to get more control in this relationship. Your oldest son is dictating all the terms of your relationship. He decides when/if you see him, what the interaction will be, and he takes but only gives back enough to manipulate you.

I'm sure there is a story from his point of view too and we are only getting yours right now. But I feel that whatever story he told, yours would be much closer to the real situation.

I think you may need to be more clear with your youngest son and rather than telling him that you need to know when Jim is in the house, you need to make it clear that Jim is not allowed in the house.

The situation sucks but it can get better. It will not get better unless you take this hard line. Like others who posted here, I have seen this situation before. A close friend has gone down a similar path and remains on it today. His family and friends have all tried to help to no avail. I suspect that he has lost hope. He was an incredibly bright and outgoing person who chose a lifestyle which has led to drug addiction, theft, violence, and massive health problems. Sharing needles and/or unprotected sex has left him with HIV and the Hepatitis alphabet. I seriously doubt he will come out of this spiral. Many of us enabled his behavior and a harder line earlier in the situation may have made a difference (I doubt it but you never know).

I feel for you in this but I also have a sincere belief that it's not too late for your son.
__________________
Strive to be more curious than ignorant.
onetime2 is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360