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lurkette · 08-05-2003, 10:14 AM

I believe you, Z, and a big splooshy *pththbhbtht* to the people who think you and others with abilities like yours are flaky.

I need the poster from Mulder's office: "I want to believe." Half the time I believe in the "supernatural," the other half of the time I feel like I should be more skeptical and that I'm only believing what I want to believe because it makes me feel better. It's reassuring to hear evidence, and to hear peoples' first-hand stories.

The closest I've gotten to anything like what you describe is the day my brother died. I'd been agonizing for days as he hovered between life and death, about what he would want, and how long we should let things go before we made a decision to pull life support. I'd told him we'd be okay with whatever he chose, and asked him for a sign. That night I had a dream. I can't remember what it was, now, I only know that he spoke to me and when I woke up I knew he had made his choice and felt very strongly that we had to let him go. About 20 minutes later the hospital called to say he was coding and we should get there right now. I went in and held his hand and told him it was okay to go. And then he died.

Since then my sister has heard him a few times. Right after he died she heard his voice very clearly shouting "I'm OKAY!" When my mother had surgery a month later, he spoke to her in the waiting room and said he was worried about mom, and that he wasn't talking to me yet because I wasn't ready (I had written him a note on my blog saying I wish he'd talk to me). When we were trying to figure out what he'd want regarding a lawsuit against the driver who hit him, my sister and I both meditated together and almost immediately we heard "don't do it." Just that.

I know several people who are blessed/cursed with the ability to see beyond physical reality, and while I wish I was one of them I can see how hard it is for them, both in terms of either being disbelieved/ridiculed, or hiding part of themselves, and in terms of marshalling their own emotions around others.

08-05-2003, 10:14 AM	#5 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I believe you, Z, and a big splooshy pththbhbtht to the people who think you and others with abilities like yours are flaky. I need the poster from Mulder's office: "I want to believe." Half the time I believe in the "supernatural," the other half of the time I feel like I should be more skeptical and that I'm only believing what I want to believe because it makes me feel better. It's reassuring to hear evidence, and to hear peoples' first-hand stories. The closest I've gotten to anything like what you describe is the day my brother died. I'd been agonizing for days as he hovered between life and death, about what he would want, and how long we should let things go before we made a decision to pull life support. I'd told him we'd be okay with whatever he chose, and asked him for a sign. That night I had a dream. I can't remember what it was, now, I only know that he spoke to me and when I woke up I knew he had made his choice and felt very strongly that we had to let him go. About 20 minutes later the hospital called to say he was coding and we should get there right now. I went in and held his hand and told him it was okay to go. And then he died. Since then my sister has heard him a few times. Right after he died she heard his voice very clearly shouting "I'm OKAY!" When my mother had surgery a month later, he spoke to her in the waiting room and said he was worried about mom, and that he wasn't talking to me yet because I wasn't ready (I had written him a note on my blog saying I wish he'd talk to me). When we were trying to figure out what he'd want regarding a lawsuit against the driver who hit him, my sister and I both meditated together and almost immediately we heard "don't do it." Just that. I know several people who are blessed/cursed with the ability to see beyond physical reality, and while I wish I was one of them I can see how hard it is for them, both in terms of either being disbelieved/ridiculed, or hiding part of themselves, and in terms of marshalling their own emotions around others. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France