Quote:
Originally posted by *Nikki*
It just occured to me how hypocritical some people here are.
Why then is it that anytime a attractive woman posts her picture on this board that the men go crazy over it. In the thread that asks "who do you have a jr.high/elementary school crush on" the women that are named most frequently are the ones who have posted pics of themselves AND are indeed very attractive.
Why didn't the men name other women on the board who they have never seen but have proved themselves to be attractive on the INSIDE??
Is it because we like to pretend that looks don't matter, but in fact they are really very importent??
Or do we just like to come across as not being shallow people??
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I'm with you on this one, *Nikki,* but I spent many years as a hypocrite in re: the men I was attracted to.
They were tall, blond, and usually had longer hair. Intelligence was mandatory, as was a sense of humor.
Unfortunately, many of them had no sense of fidelity. They knew they were highly desirable and had no need to cater to my need for a one-woman man.
I got exactly what I deserved.
By age thirty, I gave up on men, said fuck it, I'm done.
Was celibate for 18 months, then while playing the role of designated driver to my very drunk friend, met another sober person- a guy. He wasn't my type at all. He was very underweight, he had a 1950's haircut and was quiet. And he had quite promenant acne scars. He was tall however, and nice (as well as blond
). He was too shy to ask me out that night and told me six months later, when he finally tracked me down, that he regretted it and swore to himself that he would ask me out if he could ever find me again. I wasn't into going to bars anymore then and the very next time I went to one was the night he found me. It was a huge fluke because we live in a sprawling metropolitan area-- it was a different club--but he made a bee-line for me and tho' I still did not find him attractive, I admired his persistence and consented to his request for my phone number. We spoke a number of times by telephone for hours each time--he had a very attractive phone voice. By the time we went out on a date, his lack of attractiveness was less of an issue, but even tho' we continued dating, it still took me some time to get over the scars on his face and his extreme thinness.
My feeling now is that a person's looks are a *bonus,* not a necessity. I can be quite bowled over by a strong intellect or a sharp wit or depth of creativity.
Looks do matter to some people, but as others here have said, we have different ideas about what we like, and even that can change as we mature and start looking at the bigger picture.