Rodney

You may be asking yourself what went wrong, if you could have done anything differently, if it'd been better if you'd gotten tough sooner and been consistently tough. I have no idea.

But I do know that continuing as things are now is not an option. It's wrecking you, and it's not doing anything but enabling and enforcing his behavior. You've got really overwhelming evidence that it's not going to improve. Time to protect yourself and kick him out. Maybe he'll learn out there in the world, maybe he won't; there's a chance. But he's not going to learn anything staying with you. Time to set him entirely loose on his own and let him experience harsh reality.