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I don't have much to offer advice-wise, Dub-D. The thing I want you to know is that I can HEAR your love and concern for him and his future behind every word you've written here.
That's the thing about being tough with a loved one. Sometimes we forget that we're doing that because we love them. It looks like we HAVE to be tough or we say it's because we're sick of being taken advantage of or something--one way or another we turn it into SOMETHING that disempowers us.
I say that to say this: I'm clear you're an amazing mother who loves her son to the ends of the earth, and who (quite understandably, as you said) is at a loss how best to express that love, given the situation.
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