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I think the letter your girlfriend is sending is totally appropriate (probably better if she says it instead of writes it, but whatever). It's much different and completely within her rights to say that she personally doesn't like Bob and doesn't want him living there (it is her apartment, too), and that's totally different from telling Nicole that she can't/shouldn't date Bob. If it turns ugly, so be it. Good riddance to bad baggage. But I hope she gets the point and that it can be made as respectfully and calmly as possible, and that Nicole takes it like an adult.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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