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THE PHILOSOPHER'S SONG
Performed by Bruce, Bruce, Bruce and Bruce
A Python (Monty) Production
Emanuel Kant was a real piss ant who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as shloshed as Schlegel
There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya’ ‘bout the raisin’ of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill of his own free will
And half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato they say could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
I drink therefore I am
Now Socrates himself is particularly missed.
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed.
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The battle against abject stupidity cannot be fought with reason.
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