Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Tirian · 07-29-2003, 04:28 PM

from "Dave Barry" here's a reproducable theory for you to try at home... :-)

Speaking of fruitcakes: I also received some unhappy mail from an "L. Edwards," who got his (or possibly her) dander up over a column I wrote about the California power shortage. "L. Edwards" was particularly upset about my explanation of where electricity comes from, which was that when lightning strikes the earth, it goes underground and hardens into coal, which is then burned in generators to form electricity.

"SHAME ON YOU!" wrote "L. Edwards" across my column in large letters with a marking pen. "Electricity does not harden into coal! I think you should be wary of telling untrue scientific facts."

"L. Edwards," you are certainly entitled to your opinion, and far be it from me to suggest that you are a great big wienerhead. But it just so happens that my theory that coal is hardened electricity fits perfectly with the thinking of some of the world's leading scientific minds. And when I say "some of the world's leading scientific minds," I am referring specifically to Mr. Harold Jones of Tulsa, Okla. In response to my electricity column, Mr. Jones sent me a letter explaining his theory, which he summarizes as follows: "ELECTRICITY IS SMOKE!"

Mr. Jones contends that electrical circuits work by means of smoke traveling from place to place inside wires. By way of proof, he points out: "Every time you let the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it no longer works. You can test this at home. If you have a wall outlet that is black where the smoke has leaked out, plug something in, and you will see that it no longer works."

I would like to see "L. Edwards," or any other so-called "critic," poke a hole in Mr. Jones' tightly reasoned theory. It is probably the most important scientific breakthrough since Albert Einstein discovered the "Theory of Relativity," which states that time and space are relative, which explains why time goes slower, and space gets smaller, when you are with your relatives. I assume that Harold Jones will soon be receiving the Nobel Prize, which comes with a nice cash award. Plus, you get a fruitcake.

07-29-2003, 04:28 PM	#29 (permalink)
Tirian Addict Location: Canada	from "Dave Barry" here's a reproducable theory for you to try at home... :-) Speaking of fruitcakes: I also received some unhappy mail from an "L. Edwards," who got his (or possibly her) dander up over a column I wrote about the California power shortage. "L. Edwards" was particularly upset about my explanation of where electricity comes from, which was that when lightning strikes the earth, it goes underground and hardens into coal, which is then burned in generators to form electricity. "SHAME ON YOU!" wrote "L. Edwards" across my column in large letters with a marking pen. "Electricity does not harden into coal! I think you should be wary of telling untrue scientific facts." "L. Edwards," you are certainly entitled to your opinion, and far be it from me to suggest that you are a great big wienerhead. But it just so happens that my theory that coal is hardened electricity fits perfectly with the thinking of some of the world's leading scientific minds. And when I say "some of the world's leading scientific minds," I am referring specifically to Mr. Harold Jones of Tulsa, Okla. In response to my electricity column, Mr. Jones sent me a letter explaining his theory, which he summarizes as follows: "ELECTRICITY IS SMOKE!" Mr. Jones contends that electrical circuits work by means of smoke traveling from place to place inside wires. By way of proof, he points out: "Every time you let the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it no longer works. You can test this at home. If you have a wall outlet that is black where the smoke has leaked out, plug something in, and you will see that it no longer works." I would like to see "L. Edwards," or any other so-called "critic," poke a hole in Mr. Jones' tightly reasoned theory. It is probably the most important scientific breakthrough since Albert Einstein discovered the "Theory of Relativity," which states that time and space are relative, which explains why time goes slower, and space gets smaller, when you are with your relatives. I assume that Harold Jones will soon be receiving the Nobel Prize, which comes with a nice cash award. Plus, you get a fruitcake.