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I have the same problem... if my penis doesn't get constant attention it can go flacid really quickly. Like you said, this is especially frustrating during sex... but on the bright side it makes getting my gf pregnant a lot more difficult, and it basically means I can go for like 2 hours in the 69 position (when i'm about to blow I'll start working the clit like there's no tomorrow, she'll get distracted, and I'll get soft so she can work me back up again).
Anyway, I personally don't think it's performance anxiety for me, though it could be... but I think it's from too much masturbation. All I know is that I remember when I was younger I could get hard just looking at porn, but I can't even dream of that now... I usually maturbate at least once a day, and now that I think about it once a day for 4 years is a helluva lot of wanking it.
I'm gonna stop wanking and see if that helps... my only concern is that this will cause me to orgasm too quickly, but it's worth a try anyway.
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