shay

i swear that is almost word-for-WORD the exact situation my roommate and i are in.

and we haven't spoken to each other for 3 weeks now. we've lived together for 2 years, she moves out on thursday, and i doubt i'll ever talk to her again.

i definitely agree that it IS your business - you said there was more to the story. if you and your girlfriend are paying rent at this place, and i assume bob is not, then you totally have a stake in this.

in my situation, my roommate essentially let her boyfriend move in (and the relationship between them was almost EXACTLY how you described the one between nicole and bob), and together they made my life a living hell.

if your girlfriend is unhappy, which you say is your primary concern, you should look first towards a short term fix for her, and worry about nicole and her relationship later, if at all.

as a rent-paying tenant, your lease should say something about a guest policy, or something to the effect - tell nicole that bob is making you and your girlfriend uncomfortable, and that you've all got to work out some way that he spends less time in the apartment.

having him not be there as often should possibly lighten some of the load on you and your girlfriend, since you won't be confronted with it as often, and could also possibly have the added benefit of nicole spending some time away from bob and maybe easing up some of her attachment to him, especially if you and your girlfriend make an effort to involve her in things when he's not around.

i won't get into the specifics of my situation, because it's nasty but the one thing i regret is not speaking up sooner. i let them put me through tons of stress and make me miserable, and it just wasn't fair.

if your girlfriend is that unhappy, you two need to stand up for your rights as equal rent-payers and worry about yourselves, and then worry about the nicole/bob situation later on.