dod123

First of all, this isn't a "so hypothetically speaking, if this guy, and this girl, who aren't in any way related to me..."

Essentially, I gots drama. Well, drama is relative, but let me get straight to the point.

Background, we're all University Students age 19-21.

Anyway, my gf's roommate is her fairly long time best friend (years) and for the summer i'm rooming with them. To be blunt, my gf is both conservative, and picky (not to overshadow her wonderfulness and good heart). When i say picky i mean, she chooses her friends carefully. Let me assign her roommate a name, errr, since i'm such a big fan of *Nikki* i'll call her roommate Nicole (because they both start with "N" Ha! bet nobody figured that out...).

Anyway, a year ago Nicole and her 2 year bf broke up.
6 months ago Nicole started seeing a guy (we'll call him Bob because it's such an easy name to type). Long story short, he's a nice enough guy and all, but he's causing all kinds of stress on my gf (and consequently myself). Perhaps for just any girl, Bob would be an adequate bf, but he's... not a GREAT bf.

*sigh* this is going to be too long a post, let me cut to the chase. All the background could take years. Essentially, my gf doesn't think he's good enough for Nicole, and frankly, neither do I. It's not so much he's bad, but... he's not a good bf. He might make a decent friend, but just not a good bf. He's not considerate enough, and, well, let's just face it, he's hella cheap. Neither are particularly well off, both being college students, but Nicole pays her own way with financial aid and i assume his parents pay his way. Still, she's taken out loans to pay for some of her tuition and essentially she's in debt. Yet, whenever they go somewhere, do something, SHE pays. Let me repeat. He almost NEVER pays for ANYTHING they do. Now, they never really 'go out', but if they go get smoothies or ice cream, she pays.

I hate to say it, but this matters. Besides, that's not the only thing. Money isn't everything. He's not real big on sharing in general. But all in all, he doesn't treat her like a gf. The thing is, this wouldn't bother me much, EXCEPT that, i/we (gf and i or me, or whatever) feel in a way he takes advantage of her. For months now (I would have stopped it long ago, but certain dramatic events tempered my bring down the hand of fire on him) he almost lives here in the apartment even though his parents house is 5 minutes away. In addition, she IS vulnerable because she has fairly low confidence, not to mention her last bf was NOT that wonderful either and it was a tulmultuous (sp?) breakup.

There's more, but it would take too long to explain everything, or attempt to anyway. I'm not usually one to ask for advice (historically i listen better than i talk), but I'm almost at my wits end. My gf is a wonderful person, and we have a very close relationship, but when Bob pisses her off (by being in general stingy and inconsiderate and doing thing 'behind closed doors' [defined as we don't know because it IS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS]). I don't mind shouldering her concerns, but it is getting tedious and it is wearing on MY gf and relationship and stressing both of us out.

I've talked to her several times, and even attempted to implement a plan on how to attempt to improve him as a bf and them as a relationship, but heck, it's been weeks and it usually only works for a short while. This is by far long enough, so allow me to post this, i'll reply to this post with my ideas so far.

I welcome advice from both sides, although, but i would especially encourage the ladies to respond.

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