Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Shades · 07-27-2003, 10:05 PM

So the dorm option is out because you're too old. That's still OK, you need to get out of the house. Get a single apartment, either a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom or an efficiency/studio. If that's not in the cards, look for a Co-op. I've never lived in one, but I know people who did and seemed to like it. A Co-op is kind of like a dorm, but everybody has to help do stuff in it like cook and clean.

However, you say that you're introverted, and I hear you. Indeed, I even so much as feel you knocking. I therefore would most highly recommend the single apartment, preferably within walking distance or on a bus route to campus. Besides getting you out of the house, which makes having any college experience possible, it will help raise your self esteem. When I started living alone and having to cook, clean, and generally do everything for myself, my self esteem rose a lot. Being self sufficient is a great place to start building a positive self image, and girls can really pick up on that.

I would recommed not worrying about a girlfriend until you have built up at least a non-negative self image. Until you are happy with yourself, you won't be happy with someone else. If it makes you feel better, I was 23 before getting into a relationship worthy of the name. Prior to that, there was a girl I took to prom and that was about it. The average marrying age is 28 for my generation (born in 1979) and it's getting longer all the time, and that's not even counting people who never get married. If you are worried about not hooking up, it isn't just you.

As for friends, I also had and have the same problem. My friends are now scattered to the four winds, and we do not meet so often as anyone wants. In town, I have my brother and one real close friend. There are some of the others you mentioned, class mates and so on. There are about 5 people I can just casually hang out with. How did I find these people? As many have pointed out, clubs. You're probably a nerd (like I am, and I suspect most people here are) and you don't really like clubs since in high school those were for the popular kids. I assure you, there are far more clubs for nerds in college than any other group. Start by joining your major's club (like the engineering club, or whatever). This is good because you will have a lot in common with the people in it from class but are still in a social setting. Also, your college has to maintain a list of all the clubs at the university. Find that list. It will be under Campus and Community Involvement or some such. Pick a club and show up. Like everyone says, they will be overjoyed that somebody new wants to join up.

07-27-2003, 10:05 PM	#26 (permalink)
Shades Insane	So the dorm option is out because you're too old. That's still OK, you need to get out of the house. Get a single apartment, either a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom or an efficiency/studio. If that's not in the cards, look for a Co-op. I've never lived in one, but I know people who did and seemed to like it. A Co-op is kind of like a dorm, but everybody has to help do stuff in it like cook and clean. However, you say that you're introverted, and I hear you. Indeed, I even so much as feel you knocking. I therefore would most highly recommend the single apartment, preferably within walking distance or on a bus route to campus. Besides getting you out of the house, which makes having any college experience possible, it will help raise your self esteem. When I started living alone and having to cook, clean, and generally do everything for myself, my self esteem rose a lot. Being self sufficient is a great place to start building a positive self image, and girls can really pick up on that. I would recommed not worrying about a girlfriend until you have built up at least a non-negative self image. Until you are happy with yourself, you won't be happy with someone else. If it makes you feel better, I was 23 before getting into a relationship worthy of the name. Prior to that, there was a girl I took to prom and that was about it. The average marrying age is 28 for my generation (born in 1979) and it's getting longer all the time, and that's not even counting people who never get married. If you are worried about not hooking up, it isn't just you. As for friends, I also had and have the same problem. My friends are now scattered to the four winds, and we do not meet so often as anyone wants. In town, I have my brother and one real close friend. There are some of the others you mentioned, class mates and so on. There are about 5 people I can just casually hang out with. How did I find these people? As many have pointed out, clubs. You're probably a nerd (like I am, and I suspect most people here are) and you don't really like clubs since in high school those were for the popular kids. I assure you, there are far more clubs for nerds in college than any other group. Start by joining your major's club (like the engineering club, or whatever). This is good because you will have a lot in common with the people in it from class but are still in a social setting. Also, your college has to maintain a list of all the clubs at the university. Find that list. It will be under Campus and Community Involvement or some such. Pick a club and show up. Like everyone says, they will be overjoyed that somebody new wants to join up.