Jaron

I think we're using different definitions, then. What I'm talking about is times where you thought that you fucked up, maybe not very much or maybe a shitload, and when things happened despite and in spite of you. What I'm talking about is when things went so horribly "wrong" that all you could think of what how much better things would have been without that happening. What I'm talking about is fuckups, where you've hurt yourself and other people. Things that you would change in your own life, things that YOU did or didn't do that you know that you "should have" or "shouldn't have" that you hated yourself for, at least at the time.

I've had plenty of experiences like that. My first knife fight, I still wouldn't take back if I could. Fist fights with my father, started by me. Getting on cocaine when I was thirteen years old. My first cigarette, at nine and a half. My alcoholism. My voilence, smashing a girl in the head with a brick when I was seven years old. Everything stupid and hurtful and mean and just plain low and inhuman that I've done to others and to myself, that if I'd been thinking I wouldn't even have begun to think of doing.

Those are "mistakes" to me, but they've brought me to where I am now.



If mistakes bring you somewhere, who is to say that you should or shouldn't have done something that you didn't or did do in the first place?